i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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