Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
