i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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