so explain again why im purple
no
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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