So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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