I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
