Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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