I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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