Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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