she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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