i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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