More tranny stories later!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
