And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
