I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
