i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
