Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
