i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
