remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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