It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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