She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I enjoy the company of your penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
