I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she peed on how many people?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You are a genius and a whore.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
