yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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