3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
