Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
