Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
