this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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