I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
