remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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