so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
