yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize