I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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