Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
