Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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