how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
