So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
