Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
