I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
