next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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