I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
