her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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