How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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