You just made me feel so damn special
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
