you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wanna passion pit in your ass
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
