If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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