I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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