omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
