i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We smell like vodka and hangover
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