the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
