so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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