So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
