direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
