Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
