let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
